It is 11 pm as I write this. I closed work about 30 minutes ago. After that, I took a bath, fell in bed, hugged a pillow, closed my eyes, and waited for sleep to take over.
But sleep was a long time coming. While I waited impatiently for sleep, my attention was drawn to the pains I felt in my core. I’d been sitting at my laptop all day. It is more tiring than one might think. Sometimes I crave a job where there’s more physical activity.
As I lay in bed feeling my backbone ache, a string of words flashed through my mind. They seemed to be the utterances of my body rather than my mind. Here are the words: I’ve used up all my strength and there’s nothing left to give.
I recognize those words! They come from an old song. The last time I listened to it was probably 4 years ago. This remembrance felt like an unexpected reunion with an old friend, so I decided to grab my laptop once more and write this so that my old song isn’t lost to memory.
Here are the lyrics of a few verses in the song:
I’m at a loss for words, there’s nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place
How did my heart become so lifeless and cold
Where did the passion go?
When all my efforts seem like chasing the wind
I’ve used up all my strength and there’s nothing left to give
I’ve lost the feeling and I’m numb to the core
I can’t fake it anymore.
You speak and all creation falls to its knees
You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea
You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering
The lyrics are too melancholic for my liking but one cannot deny that they are really poetic. You can search for “Resurrection by Nicol Sponberg” to see the full lyrics.
It’s late now and I’m tired. I only wrote this short piece because no matter what there will always be strength left to write. That is where the passion went (to answer the question in the first verse of the lyrics😉), and by writing this I am reaching out to grab it.
I will read this article again tomorrow morning just to make sure tiredness didn’t make me write nonsense hahaha.
I am happy that the next two days are holidays, so I’m going to have time for some good rest.
Let me sleep now.
Thanks for reading!